Here are some steps you can take to try and make the most suitable child maintenance arrangement for your child.
Prepare
- Use our child maintenance calculator to get an indication of the amount of child maintenance you might pay or receive with an arrangement through the CSA. You can print this out and use it as a starting point for your discussion.
- Think about what you want to achieve and what the other parent wants to achieve.
- Consider all your options and the possible outcomes of each.
- Write down the main things you want to discuss.
- What are you prepared to compromise on to get child maintenance arranged?
- Think about any information you need to bring with you. For example, costs of school, food, clothing, travel, housing costs and utility bills.
Discuss
- Talk about one issue at a time. Stick to your discussion plan.
- Show the other parent the child maintenance calculation from Child Maintenance Options. Show them the information you gave us to get to that figure.
- Use a budgeting tool to work out how much money you have each week or month. You could do this with the other parent to understand more about each other's financial situation.
- Be as honest and open as you can about your circumstances and how they may affect the way you arrange child maintenance.
- Calmly explain the reasons behind your views about how to arrange child maintenance.
- Listen and try to understand the other parent's viewpoint before you respond.
Propose solutions
- Suggest a child maintenance arrangement you think is fair and realistic for both of you.
- Be prepared to compromise on some things. For example, when you might review your agreement.
- If you're not making progress, agree to talk again later, or suggest a different way of making an arrangement.
Agree
- When you reach an agreement about child maintenance – write it down and both keep a copy. This way, you'll both be clear about what you've agreed. You can use our private agreement form to do this.
Things to keep in mind
- Focus on future solutions rather than past problems.
- You need to have realistic goals if you want to achieve them.
- Remember you're talking about child maintenance in order to provide for your child's needs.
