The last step of the process is agreement - how will you know when you have both made an arrangement and what it is that you're agreeing on?
You will also need to think about how you will record the arrangement, and whether you want to make it legally binding. We recommend you write it down and both keep a copy of your arrangement so you'll both be clear about what you've arranged. You can use our family-based arrangement form to do this.
The family arrangement form is intended to record the details of child maintenance arrangements but it can also be used to record the arrangements you have reached during your discussion.
You might find it useful to print off a list of these questions.
How will you know what you have arranged?
You will both need to know what you have arranged. How will you be sure? Some parents find it useful to formally record arrangements so you can both refer back to them. Would this be helpful for you?
If you find that you can’t reach an
arrangement between yourselves, maybe leave that point, and agree to discuss it later with a mediator
present.
If you decide to record your arrangements, how will you do it?
Will you write your arrangements down or ask another person to witness your arrangement? Will you each keep a copy of a written arrangement or will you pass it to someone to look after?
Why not use a
family-based arrangement form to record what
you’ve arranged?
Do you want your arrangement to be legally binding?
Family-based arrangements are not normally legally binding, but the courts can make them enforceable. Do you think this would be helpful in your situation? If so, read our page on using the courts to arrange child maintenance for more information.
How long will your arrangement last for?
Situations and needs change, so most arrangements are only useful for a limited time. Do you think it would be useful to agree on review dates?
How will you know if your arrangements are working?
Write down the key points that will help you decide whether your arrangement is working. If any of your arrangements break down, how will you deal with it? Is there anything that you could arrange now that would make it easier to talk about problems in the future?
How will each of you propose any changes that you want to make?
Your children's needs and your own needs will change over time. How will you go about changing your arrangements?
Write on your personal record sheet
Recording your arrangement
In box number four, write your thoughts on how you want to record what you have arranged.
That’s it for step 4. What now?
Now you’ve completed the discussion guide, take a look at the summary on the next page to see how you can use it.
If you’re not sure about how you want to record your arrangements, call us on 0800 988 0988 and we can talk you through your options.
