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What are my parenting options?

It’s important that, as long as it is safe to do so, your child spends time with both of you after separation.

Every situation is different and it can take time to find the best solution. Remember that it is the quality not quantity of parenting time that matters to children. To do this, you need to agree parenting arrangements with the other parent. These usually follow one of two patterns:

  1. Parenting time
  2. Shared residence

1. Parenting time

You may agree that your child will spend most of their time living with one of you and spend regular time with the other parent. This type of parenting arrangement is flexible and your child may feel it’s close to what they experienced before. However the parent with the main day-to-day care may struggle to cope with sole care and the other parent may feel they do not see enough of the child.

If you agree to this arrangement, you have three options:

Overnight or 'staying contact'

A child stays overnight with the parent who is not the main day-to-day carer. It could be anything from one or two nights a week, one weekend in two or simply a few days in every school holiday.

Visiting contact

Sometimes one parent does not have suitable accommodation or there is some other reason why an overnight stay is not practical. Visiting contact enables your child to stay in touch until circumstances change.

Supervised contact

Supervised contact can be ordered by a court where there are particular problems. This usually takes place at a supervised contact centre.

2. Shared residence

Shared residence is when a child lives with both parents by alternating their time between each on a fairly equal basis. Your child may, for example, spend three days a week with you and four days with the other parent, or alternate weeks with you and the other parent.

This type of arrangement can mean you both spend equal amounts of time with your child, but it can be useful to maintain a routine.