Avoid conflict
The most upsetting thing for children is to see or hear conflict between their mum and dad. Protect them by dealing with the issues causing this conflict when they are not present.
Establish good routines
Change as few of your child’s familiar routines as possible. For example it’s good if you can keep them at the same school and keep up visits to grandparents.
Be consistent and reliable
Do what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it, and be in a fit state to do it well.
Accept that your child has another parent
Whatever you think of your child’s other parent, your child just sees mum or dad. Try to:
- allow your child to talk about the other parent
- speak respectfully to them and about them when your child is present
- accept their role in your child’s life
- ensure you exchange important information about your child with them.
Show them that you are OK
Even at your lowest point, do what you can to stay strong and be there for your child. If you need to cry, do it when they are not there or have gone to bed. If you need to talk, find a friend or counsellor. If you are angry, don’t show it when your child is present, and get professional help if necessary.
